How do the effects of your past destructive or abusive relationships rob you of time that you could be spending on your self-care, your professional development, your kids, and your hobbies?
- Staring in space, at work at play (could be disassociation)
- Can not focus on tasks
- Can not fall asleep ( feel like a zombie the next day, lower productivity)
- Wake up in the middle of the night (eat more carbs the next day- gain weight- high inflammation- more doctor visits)
- Can not wake up ( skipping morning exercise)
- Do not have patience (lost opportunities)
- Anger and irritability ( losing loved ones)
- Feeling moody and ruminating (no motivation)
The list is going on. You might go to therapy, but you still struggle. If you recognize those behaviors, it is time to reclaim your time and life.
We hold stress in our bodies.
While our bodies have inherent wisdom, they need the right environment, nutrition, and gentle movements to feel safe again.
If your world crumbles, you have to save yourself.
1. The first step is to recognize that your world crumbles.
2. Analyze the intensity of your emotions, and record for how many days you feel unwanted emotions or feelings with the help of some apps (they are helpful)
3. Decide to ask for help, help yourself, or even better, both.
After you make a decision, comes the easy part (I know, I am funny):
SMALL ACTION and PERSISTENCE.
The best three ways to get out of a challenging emotional state are to involve three areas:
PHYSICAL
MENTAL
RELATIONAL
Physical.
Walking, boxing, weightlifting, hiking, dancing.
Playing with a pet, walking barefoot, cold showers, face in the bowl with ice, hot bath, or sauna.
Replace one soda with a glass of water, etc. Start the first step toward feeling better, including reclaiming yourself with better sleep. Sleeping better is crucial because research shows that if we miss REM, we tend to have a stronger emotional response to the same events we would easily brush off when we sleep well.
Mental.
Answer these questions:
What did I learn about myself?
What am I grateful for, despite the difficulty of the situation?
What was good today?
What was bad today?
What connection do I see between now, the past, and the future?
What can this experience teach me?
Relational.
Call a friend or a family member.
Volunteer.
Support a colleague or a stranger.
Do somatic exercises to connect to yourself (tapping, self-havening, shaking, rocking)
Choose 1-3 action steps and do them every day.
You will create an opportunity to escape the slump/distress/rage/sadness.
Make it last longer and more consistently, preventing you from entering an unwanted state.
Follow for more neuroscience-based tips 😉
Always consult a licensed professional for help, or call a crisis line if you cannot handle things yourself.